“WHY did I wait so long?”

I had the opportunity to photograph Jenn about a month ago. She wanted a special gift for her husband on their anniversary. After the album was delivered she sent me this amazing letter… it left me speechless and it really sums up a lot of what MUSE.Photography is all about. She has given me the “OK” to share it along with a couple of images from the shoot. I would bet a lot of ladies can find a part of themselves in her words.

Sometimes being a woman in a cruel world is a very challenging task. We are our own worst critics. We do so much for others and often put ourselves on the back burner. Why? Why do we not feel like we are worthy of… a moment in time? Our moment. We deserve it. I ask myself “why did I wait so long?” … lack of confidence, self worth, or self-esteem? I had basically thrown myself out the window after having my daughter. I felt so unattractive and hated everything about myself. Sure my husband would tell me I was beautiful and sexy etc. but it all went in one ear and out the other, I mean wasn’t he SUPPOSED to say those things to me?
It was not until a few weeks before our 10th anniversary that I thought, “Hmmm maybe I could gather a few items that might make me feel sexy, get some professional photos done (for his eyes only).    The last few days leading up to the shoot I was a freaked out nervous wreck. I thought there was no way in hell I could pull it off. I am not model material at all. I doubted the entire thing, and doubted my self most of all. Nevertheless I went through with it… and now that I have my question is “WHY did I wait so long?”
As much as I thought I was doing this for him, I realized I did it MORE for me. For the first time in I don’t even know how long I felt beautiful, desirable, and special. I could not believe how it made me feel, and how my self-esteem just shot through the ceiling! I felt so empowered.
Upon seeing the final product I questioned was that me? YES it really was… OMG I DID IT! I challenged myself and a new me was born. I want all women to feel what I felt, to be accepting of them selves, 100% no holding back. It took me 31 years but I would not change a thing… except maybe stepping out of my comfort zone sooner.JC

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